The King Has Spoken
Chapter: Season Five
A beat down? It would be cathartic. Imprisonment? It would be okay. Stripping Clive of his title, power, and prestige? That is his hell.
I’m sure there will be discussion (like with the last strip) and let me say, that is always awesome to see. I read it all.
We’re winding this arc down and I hope you have enjoyed it.
HOVER-TEXT: Dick Kickins sounds like a country music singer from the 70s. The kind that wears shades EVERYWHERE and smokes during every interview.
And now I know what to name my next Shadowrun Missions character and how I’m gonna role play him.
I wish i could find a good online shadowrun missions group 🙁
Check out Runnerhub on Reddit KageRa. Its a great place to get games when you have time. Also must say I love how the King looks when pissed.
“Dick Kickings for Mr. Johnson.”
This line of thought is so full of ultimate win! I’m now going to have to name one of my Shadowrun characters Dick Kickins, just too much fun.
I put this to the comments section, to see if I am the only one here who thinks this, but I do so in verse.
I don’t want a lot for christmas,
but there’s just one thing I need.
I would love to see it sitting underneath my christmas tree.
I just want it to be shown, more than you could ever know,
Please make my wish come true!
All I want for Christmas, is an illustrated version of the alt-text from the Jan 19th comic, here
https://d20monkey.com/comic/christmas-eve-is-go/ ( In the workshop, the elves play Brett saying Eat a Dick Higgins over their UNTZ. UNTZ UNTZ UNZT Eat a dick Higgins UNTZ UNTZ)
Dick Kickins is also a fairly proper name for the character mentioned in your first comic.
YAYAYAYAYAYYAAY
It’s good to be the king.
So will we see Clive at some point in the future in a support group consisting of exiled and/or forgotten fable creatures that all have to somehow survive in the mortal world?
🙂
I’m hoping he has to spend the rest of his life as a mortal, working as an elf for a second-rate department store mall Santa.
And when that Mall Santa’s job is over, he is sent back into time to work for another Mall Santa. He has to serve each and every Mall Santa each season. Then when that is over, he is sent FORWARD in time to next Christmas to do the same.
Forever Mall Santa Elf
Well this is the Fae, banishment can mean literally anything depending on the King of Season’s definition of the word.
Chances are the same mystery man that recruited Dove will find him and bring him into the fold for some good old fashioned sinister 6 kind of thing.
If that’s the case, then the Mystery Man that is behind all this is Evil Sam.
Oh my. That would be /very/ interesting.
Unless Clive already is or will be that mystery man…
Oooh! Like a horrible, low budget reality show!
In the end, it is a fitting punishment. General feel of things, the King and other “Faerie” types are probably nearly immortal, so how could Higgins plot with Klaus to overthrow him? I would think no one can assume a Mantle without the Kings approval anyways, so just beating him down or even killing the King isn’t gonna put you in the Drivers seat of the Seasons. But seeing Higgins getting a Dick Kicking would have been good…lol
I don’t think he was trying to overthrow the king. He’s not nearly powerful enough. Rather, he was trying to manipulate the king and take advantage of his harshness in the winter.
It’s also possible that, instead of actual plotting, he just has sympathies which lie more with Klaus. The modern interpretation of Santa Claus, after all, as a purely benevolent entity (no greater risk than a naughty kid not getting any presents, or only getting coal) doesn’t seem like something Clive would be into at all. Especially since it’s human kids; seems likely he’d be way more into them getting punished more harshly, like being eaten or tossed into a basket on the back to be carried down to hell.
Either way, assuming that his banishment doesn’t preclude access to the mortal world, or to wherever Klaus is, it’s totally possible he’ll be trying for Team Evil at this stage. With or without Dove and whatever’s going on there.
Banished = mortal, yes? I smell a revenge plot from human-Clive in the future.
Considering the sheer terror, I’m thinking so, but I’m not sure. Could just be he was that attached to his post.
Betting that Dove is involved
Damn. The look of sheer terror on that racist, elitist little piece of peppermint’s face was worth the wait.
Nice. Piece of peppermint. Good one
Injokes and alliteration make for fun combinations.
He was so scared he popped his monocle.
… and it was *wonderful*!!
Poppin’ His Monocles is the new greatest hits album from Dick Kickins.
Nicely done, Brian, this is both ENTIRELY not what I expected and COMPLETELY worth the wait! Do I smell another attack of the stuck-up little elfprick next Giftmas, since the little shit is still alive and might join up with Klaus if Higgins hasn’t been working for Klaus already?
Hail to The King!
Treason? Overstepping authority and same punishment but there doesn’t seem to be a buildup for treason.
Oh and revenge hookup with Dove and mysterious limo
I think you could make the argument that he’s committed treason against the season/spirit of winter and Christmas in general, for reasons that plenty of other people have already outlined so I’m not going to.
Yeah, I was gonna say. Maybe he’s guilty of sedition, and he’s certainly guilty of disrespecting the crown, but treason is kind of pushing it.
Anyone else read the king’s voice as much darker and more robotic when he laid this down?
I read it in the voice of James Earl Jones.
I have to say I like this a lot. It feels good from a reader standpoint to finally see Clive get what’s coming to him. However from a writing standpoint we don’t lose a great antagonist.
We’ll be seeing Clive again, and honestly I can’t wait to see what comes next. Well done as always sir. Bravo.
Well, looks like the king needs a new steward of winter.
JEANIE
OMG MAKE IT HAPPEN BRIAN
I can see it coming…
Well Clive, was that compassionless enough for you? Is your King now sufficiently strong? The fact that you begged and threw yourself at his mercy tells me yes. Was it all you hoped for?
Nuts…
I was hoping the king would go full-conan on him. Oh well, banishment is still worth sitting around and eating popcorn for.
… Combo breaker?
On the plus side… maybe we’ll see him again. Sam’s got Larry right? Now Dove can have Clive. Can you even imagine?!
…no. I refuse to try to imagine.
Hmm where can I apply as the nes Steward of Winter? XD
If i was the king I would have made him be the one responsible for cleaning up Claus’ shit for the rest of eternity.
The defeat of the villain was completed in a single strip?
Well, I mean… to be entirely fair, this is the Christmas Storyline. It is now March, and Higgins is not a combat encounter. He is a skill check, and there was just a natural twenty on the Charisma Roll from the new Mrs. Claus.
I say Charisma because honestly, not sure if that was Intimidate or Diplomacy.
If memory serves, there’s a Feat that lets you substitute Intimidate for Diplomacy rolls… so yes.
Yeah, but there’s no way that the king felt even slightly intimidated by her – impressed at her nerve, sure, but not intimidated. And she wasn’t even trying for diplomacy. If it was any kind of roll, I say a straight charisma check, no skills involved.
You’d rather have 3 strips of the King and Higgins powering up?
NEXT TIME ON DRAGON BALL Z
Next year, Jeanie. Next year.
I see future plot lines for revenge next year or even over the summer and other dates as well…..
We are once again reminded to NEVER piss off the King of Seasons.
Can we get an alternate reality strip of Jeanie giving Higgins dick kicks? Maybe some kind of .Gif?
This.
Seconded.
I think its time for #dickkickgif
Now some chowder head is going to try to name their D&D character Dick Kickin in my next campaign. I can just sense that…
Jeanie mentioned a lesson she learned in RPGs.
Other lesson learned: never ever leave avowed enemies with names alive. Miscellaneous minions, sure, whatevs. But if it’s got a name, it must perish.
Otherwise they keep coming back for more mischief, and I dare say we haven’t seen the last of Clive.
Some good kicking going on. The main image is from http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Soccer
The rest was put together with only a touchpad and Windows Paint. Here’s the result:
http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a66/bubbajoe12345/kick_zpsiptl80vt.png
DANG I love this comic. A lot.
Thank you so much! <3
I have the grim premonition that Clive will wind up in Dove’s cadre.
Plot twist: Dove is actually Clivey’s Mortal incarnation thathat has traveled back in time to get revenge on Brett, Sam and Co.
They would make a nice couple.
My poor Jeanie, all dressed up and ready to kick some dicks. But hooray King of the Seasons. And hello recurring villain?
Hail to the King, baby~
I don’t say that Clive didn’t deserve what he got. All I’m saying is, that it was a bit anti-climatic. He was such a dick in everyones ass, that he would have deserved a bit of pummeling first.
Want more exposition from the King of Seasons, Much as I like the banishment, it was too quick
I hope this means he was also nerfed to mortal.
Also who else sees him as next year’s Christmas Villain? Probably banded up with evil twin (forgot his name)?
Jeannie for the new steward of winter?
Wait, so where did he banish him to? Most likely, the land of mortals. Never fear, he is still within dick kickin reach! The dream is real!
I’m with Jeannie here; I was looking forward to a good dick kicking.
I see a number of people wanting Jeanie as the new steward, but I would rather see Rory get the position, he’s more than earned it I think.
Don, I wouldn’t have made her steward personally because she’s too close (literally) to one of the winter mantel bearers (please can we change it to the British spelling Mantle?) but I posted it because I wondered if Brian was going down that road!
Oh, I wasn’t singling your comment out Andy, it was in reference to what Brian said on twitter and since I don’t have a twitter account I figured I would just toss my comment here.
Rory makes more sense, I think. Jeanie might be an interesting choice, but I don’t think she has the right ties to be it, or probably the desire to have guardianship of winter and have to stay away all year like Brett has. Rory, I think, would bring more of a warmth to winter, and tie together some of the togetherness and celebration that most of the winter holidays celebrate. He seems to be concerned, in general, with and for people, and less hands on and brutal than the former steward, who is probably where Klaus got a lot his ideas from to begin with.
I’m rambling.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAA-HOOOOOO!
I’ll worry about who the new Steward is going to be later. Right now I am just delighted to see Higgins get the comeuppance he deserves. Smarmy, self-righteous, stuck-up, petty, scheming little PRICK.
Somehow I can’t shake the mental image that the KoS and Lord Vetinari (Discworld) are… Similar. Similar enough that should they ever meet, it might be a disaster.
Nah. Lord Vetinari would never let his cool facade slip like KOS did. Plus Vetinari would never get surprised by Higgins treason, LV would have set in motion years ago a plan to eliminate Higgins in a way that wouldn’t get his own hands dirty…..
Do the emblems on his belt shift with the season?
Jeanie, so did we. So did we.
I see a lot of people assume Clive is gonna become mortal… But wouldn’t mortals also be apart of the kingdom of seasons in a way? I mean since he’s straight up banished from the kingdom of seasons there has to be somewhere that doesn’t experience them… Maybe he’s gonna be locked in the moon.
Honestly, my secret desire is that the King of Season’s is Alill mac Máta and that banishing Higginz sends him to Medb.
I hope we see Clive again. I know he was a baddie, but I liked him.