Yeah. My 4th-level halfling sorcerer/rogue would just laugh at this point and go, “Steal your heart? Don’t mind if I do. But first, let’s get to know each other better.”
I take it you don’t like Lord of the Rings, or its prequel ‘The Hobbit’. In the latter, the main character is Bilbo Baggins. Hobbits would be halflings, of course.
Can Dove please die? Not his character in this game. Actual Dove. He’s racist, misogynistic, homophobic, and a general asshole. I know people like that (although not necessarily all at once) exist in the community (Such as They Who Must Not Be Named Or Else They’ll Derail This Thread Faster Than A Train Attacked By Mojave Rattlers), but… ugh.
The character is needed to exemplify all that can be wrong with the rpg community. Getting rid of him is like saying the problems don’t exist. Besides he’s like the perfect character to hate.
but in reality, a player like him would be banned from damn near everywhere pretty much instantly. It’s actually more unrealistic that he’s still around than anything.
Sadly, I beg to differ. At least in my area, it’s more likely that the people complaining would be told to leave.
But then, my region suffers from hobbyists starting up game stores to get their own stuff wholesale, and then treating their store like it’s their mom’s basement, and resenting anyone they don’t know coming in.
We have a really high game store turnover rate around here.
There are plenty of douches out there that would let an ass like Dove play. I have met a number of them. There are more than a few people that I will not sit at a table if they are playing but unfortunately they seem to control the community where I live. I would recommend the movie “The Fellowship” which, although about MMOs, illustrates the depths that some gamers will lower themselves to.
My favorite dragon encounter was one where the hoard was a bunch of (in the PCs eyes) useless garbage. I think the most “treasure” like thing was a locket worth about 100g which they returned to a old farmer since it had a picture of his deceased wife in it. It was later revealed that the dragon was hoarding things with more sentimental value then material.
“But Captain, all our stores of brown pants are gone!”
If that’s the final form, his structure’s pretty weak. The gem’s the heart right? Just blast the gem…. that strategy typically causes structural collapse and makes the gem require time to make the form available again, unless it’s a GM trap, in which case I’d love to see the blast radius.
Could, unless there’s GM trap where gem goes nuke if struck the right way. Legitimate strategy, but metagames.
I’ve had GM’s where gems were the focal point for magical traps and nonsense… made them highly valuable and highly dangerous to obtain. Because you’d never know when a gem was harmless…. or if lobbing it across the room would effectively decimate that Lesser Deity that just appeared.
Thieves never lasted long in most of those runs…. can’t imagine why….
DM brain kicks in -> Will they have to destroy the hoard to get to the shiny stone? At least one of my players’ characters would cry. The player might as well.
i know i would, my characters tend to be on the greedy side, though not to the cheating their compaions of their loot lvl. if i can loot something i generally do, we really dont bother with carry weight in the sessions i play unless its something out of the question like carrying around a life size marble statue, or a full barrel of oil or something, since it gets less game play and more complex math territory.
So more than once my characters have ended up as litteral walking armories after a several fights without going back to town. I think the record is about 15 diffrent weapons, 4 sheilds, and 5 diffrent armors at once on top of various micilenious loot.
nah we dont utilize that, at most we get bags of holding if we really and exploit loop holes we find during game play, though that is rare as our DM generally makes finding people to make them or stores selling them hard to find/to expensive to get more than one or two
I have seen many things in playing tabletop games, but I have never…EVER….EVEREVER….seen or THOUGHT about having a dragon possibly be so ancient that its spirit actually BECOMES its hoard……
The clear solution here is the third level spell “Summon Scrooge McDuck” that fowl will dive straight through Tyraxion and retrieve the heart faster than you can say “Racecars, lasers, aeroplanes”
Reminds me of a distant friend who got an epic item at level one. The party used it to kill a god.
It was the level one feel your character out dungeon, meet each other. In the treasure room there was a sword, that would animate the hoard into a golem. Unlike other treasure golems, the more treasure the bigger the golem.
The item was supposed to be used to defend their treasure while they were out adventuring as it couldn’t be wielded by anything. They kept it.
Fast forward to a demon god about to attack. The party empties all their bags of holding and portable pockets of all their treasure. The pile is the size of a small mountain. In comes demon god. They stick the sword in. The golem obeying the owner of the sword kicks the demon god back through the portal.
End game ended 2-3 sessions faster than the DM thought it would take.
/>
The dragon’s chest is still open, Carlos!! Run and dive for it before it closes all the way!!!
*in response to hover text*
Bet Tyraxion uses Crest Cinnamon Toothpaste with that tooth brush! Crest, get it? As in a knights crest? HA! I kill me!
Is anyone but Dove packing magic?
Carlos is a bard so he should
there’s a good joke answer here i just know it
quick! sacrifice the dragon to huitzilopochtli! problem solved.
… Is that a reference to something? I thought Hellblazer, but that was a different Mesoamerican deity.
Aztec god of war, the sun and human sacrifice.
To be fair, all of the Aztec gods were gods of human sacrifice…
Well, the Sun God demands hearts. Tasty, tasty hearts….
Holy shit. That is all.
Yeah. My 4th-level halfling sorcerer/rogue would just laugh at this point and go, “Steal your heart? Don’t mind if I do. But first, let’s get to know each other better.”
Did you name him Bilbo, by any chance?
Stupid fat hobbitses! Steal the precious from shiney dragonses! Never!
Sylas. Bilbo sounds like a name for a toe or something.
Oops some one botched there nerd knowlage check
I take it you don’t like Lord of the Rings, or its prequel ‘The Hobbit’. In the latter, the main character is Bilbo Baggins. Hobbits would be halflings, of course.
awe lame my comment got rejected
Which one? I’ve been out of town and just went through the logs.
What happened to Trevor’s injuries?
I fought a hydra made of gold pieces before. That was a pain. I can’t wait to see the art for this encounter.
Clearly Trevor has a racial feat that lets him shrug off cosmetic injuries as a free action so that he can be gorgeous at all times.
Carlos started this, I’m betting he finishes it.
Can Dove please die? Not his character in this game. Actual Dove. He’s racist, misogynistic, homophobic, and a general asshole. I know people like that (although not necessarily all at once) exist in the community (Such as They Who Must Not Be Named Or Else They’ll Derail This Thread Faster Than A Train Attacked By Mojave Rattlers), but… ugh.
Dove is basically grognards dot txt anthropomorphized.
The character is needed to exemplify all that can be wrong with the rpg community. Getting rid of him is like saying the problems don’t exist. Besides he’s like the perfect character to hate.
He is the Umbridge of the comic now
Jacob is right. Dove needs to exist to remind us that while we have come far as a community we still have a lot of work to do.
but in reality, a player like him would be banned from damn near everywhere pretty much instantly. It’s actually more unrealistic that he’s still around than anything.
Sadly, I beg to differ. At least in my area, it’s more likely that the people complaining would be told to leave.
But then, my region suffers from hobbyists starting up game stores to get their own stuff wholesale, and then treating their store like it’s their mom’s basement, and resenting anyone they don’t know coming in.
We have a really high game store turnover rate around here.
There are plenty of douches out there that would let an ass like Dove play. I have met a number of them. There are more than a few people that I will not sit at a table if they are playing but unfortunately they seem to control the community where I live. I would recommend the movie “The Fellowship” which, although about MMOs, illustrates the depths that some gamers will lower themselves to.
A drake made of his own treasure trove? Hmm.
*takes notes*
*as well*
*hesitates to show this to his GM but decides to anyway*
There’s a spell, in Pathfinder, that turns a hoard of coins into a golem/elemental guardian. With 1HP for every 100GP it contains.
Seconded.
*scribbles*
Agree.
*scribble scribble*
What was first? The dragon or the treasure…
THAT! is an excellent question.
*makes notes for my homebrew*
*backlogs the idea* Hey, I came up with this…He ripped me off! *rolls bluff 2*
My favorite dragon encounter was one where the hoard was a bunch of (in the PCs eyes) useless garbage. I think the most “treasure” like thing was a locket worth about 100g which they returned to a old farmer since it had a picture of his deceased wife in it. It was later revealed that the dragon was hoarding things with more sentimental value then material.
Hover text!!!
I believe this is the moment someone shouts “Bring me my brown pants!”
“But Captain, all our stores of brown pants are gone!”
If that’s the final form, his structure’s pretty weak. The gem’s the heart right? Just blast the gem…. that strategy typically causes structural collapse and makes the gem require time to make the form available again, unless it’s a GM trap, in which case I’d love to see the blast radius.
Possession of the gem is the victory condition making this otherwise legitimate and intelligent strategy less than ideal.
oh… wait you meant attack it, but not destroy it? Yeah, that could work.
Could, unless there’s GM trap where gem goes nuke if struck the right way. Legitimate strategy, but metagames.
I’ve had GM’s where gems were the focal point for magical traps and nonsense… made them highly valuable and highly dangerous to obtain. Because you’d never know when a gem was harmless…. or if lobbing it across the room would effectively decimate that Lesser Deity that just appeared.
Thieves never lasted long in most of those runs…. can’t imagine why….
Go Carlos!
That is one way to have a Dragon guarding his Hoard!
This guy took gold-bathing to the next level.
DM brain kicks in -> Will they have to destroy the hoard to get to the shiny stone? At least one of my players’ characters would cry. The player might as well.
i know i would, my characters tend to be on the greedy side, though not to the cheating their compaions of their loot lvl. if i can loot something i generally do, we really dont bother with carry weight in the sessions i play unless its something out of the question like carrying around a life size marble statue, or a full barrel of oil or something, since it gets less game play and more complex math territory.
So more than once my characters have ended up as litteral walking armories after a several fights without going back to town. I think the record is about 15 diffrent weapons, 4 sheilds, and 5 diffrent armors at once on top of various micilenious loot.
That all gets put into that nice space store room that follows the party wherever they go. Has been reffered to as Hammer Space.
nah we dont utilize that, at most we get bags of holding if we really and exploit loop holes we find during game play, though that is rare as our DM generally makes finding people to make them or stores selling them hard to find/to expensive to get more than one or two
I have seen many things in playing tabletop games, but I have never…EVER….EVEREVER….seen or THOUGHT about having a dragon possibly be so ancient that its spirit actually BECOMES its hoard……
I’mma use this for something….
same here, is that ok brian? because this idea is pure freakin genious
i fought a construct make of baby doll parts once… i can not stress enough how much less scared i am of this dragon
I want a wall paper of just the dragon and “THE HEART OF TYRAXION HUNGERS”
Ok that’s a new one…I was figuring it was a Dracolitch hiding in it’s horde.
Also can we keep Carlos? I like him…we get to keep him right?
Love your monsters
… dracolich? Dracolich… HOLY FUCK, DRACOLICH! DX *skidaddles*
More like Dracgoldlich! Am I right!? Anyone? Hello?….
Well it does bring new meaning to the term ‘gold’ dragon.
they can destroy the heart to get the gold or destroy the gold to free the heart?
Give them the devil’s choice, they can have the hoard or the quest objective but not both.
that’s just plain evil btw.
Given that this is a one-shot tournament, that’s not really much of a dilemma. It would be pretty evil in an ongoing campaign, of course.
Ah fraK!!!!!!!!!
Jokes on the dragon, Dove has no soul.
*rim shot*
The clear solution here is the third level spell “Summon Scrooge McDuck” that fowl will dive straight through Tyraxion and retrieve the heart faster than you can say “Racecars, lasers, aeroplanes”
Plus if scroge has the remote control he can summon gizmo duck
“it’s a duck-blur!”
Bonius if Scourge picked up the Gizmo duck remote on the last level he can then summon him as well
TPK! TPK! TPK!
Reminds me of a distant friend who got an epic item at level one. The party used it to kill a god.
It was the level one feel your character out dungeon, meet each other. In the treasure room there was a sword, that would animate the hoard into a golem. Unlike other treasure golems, the more treasure the bigger the golem.
The item was supposed to be used to defend their treasure while they were out adventuring as it couldn’t be wielded by anything. They kept it.
Fast forward to a demon god about to attack. The party empties all their bags of holding and portable pockets of all their treasure. The pile is the size of a small mountain. In comes demon god. They stick the sword in. The golem obeying the owner of the sword kicks the demon god back through the portal.
End game ended 2-3 sessions faster than the DM thought it would take.
I wish I was there.
I just can’t hold it in anymore I must say it
in soviet karthun treasure hoard loots you.
I need to build stats for this now and see how my party fairs any advice would be appreciated for the design process.
second thought a dragon that builds its hoard not from pillaging but from adventurers it lures in and kills.
I know this was posted a long while ago.
I am reading through the archives, been enjoying your work. I don’t think I’ve posted before but I just had to comment here.
This is a brilliant twist! I don’t think I’ve encountered it before. And the artwork depicting it really conveys the shock and terror.