Dungeon Run: Huzzah
Chapter: Comics, Season Five
AMYYYYYYY! NOOOOOOOOOOO!
I took a shower after writing that “this is man’s work” line. Uuuuuuuuuugh, Dove.
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AMYYYYYYY! NOOOOOOOOOOO!
I took a shower after writing that “this is man’s work” line. Uuuuuuuuuugh, Dove.
Comments are closed.
Hover-Text: I know you’re all crying because this means no final round hat for Amy. Next year, guys. Next year.
YOU GO IN THE CORNER AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE
YOU MONSTER
(Also, the whole “rolling every dice thing” reminded me of about a dozen people from various groups. Huzzah indeed.)
I have had the misfortune of some Dove like players at my table. I often put the screws to them to roll for every little thing untill a “happy accident” takes the wind from their sails.
How about I have her side that can up your underdark?
Shove, not side…
Split the diffrence slide it up his underdark SIDEWAYS
I like the cut of your jib!
well um dang that sort of stinks, at least its still four against that jerk dove right?
Sadly enough Dove reminds me of some fellow roleplayers and especialyl table-toppers which I had the discomfort to have at my table. We call them here “Rules-laywer” meaning guys who have the fun in destroying rounds by nitpicking on rucles and critique the game master openly until he is fed up and quits.
God I hate those guys,and so I wish that this Dove gets his character throughly owned and destroyed like Micheal Bay destroys films!
enough rant, keep up the good work Mr,Petterson!!
the german nerd 😉
Those were not rules lawyers, those were just assholes.
Quite frankly, I’d have Dove’s character killed by some “act of god” and kick him out for being a total cunt to everyone.
Like all lawyers, a rules lawyer can choose to use their expertise for good or ill.
I have a rule as a DM(I think I’ve mentioned it before): if you piss me off enough, an anvil drops out of the sky and kills your character. No saves, no hit points, you just got killed in the most ignominious way possible.
Dove just earned an anvil.
We call that “Rocks fall, everyone dies.” I have gotten screwed my some heinous misogynistic rule lawyers before… I no longer put up with them.
We call that “Rocks fall, everyone dies.” I have gotten screwed my some heinous misogynistic rule lawyers before… I no longer put up with them.
No, that’s a terrible idea. He would just claim it was because she was Sam’s GF, and he’d be kinda right. Letting dicks like him be right is almost criminal.
I’m going to go ahead and repeat what I wrote on twitter here!
I can’t even begin to say how much I want to personally enter your comic, and beat him until someone calls the police. I can handle Brett. I can handle Tamina. But he’s not a grown child, he’s just an asshole.
LOL, tell us how you *really* feel!
Ohhhhhh, if he were in front of me irl, I woulda gone through the immense effort to find his miniscule, mountain dew shrunk balls, castrate him ala hardigan-did-to-yellow-bastard and then force feed them to him along with my fist… just for that final line.
Congratulations Brian you have so masterfully created a character that has solicited actual hatred. This is something some writers never manage to accomplish, you should seriously be proud of yourself. I mean this very sincerely, I am impressed.
Seconded- I truly hate that guy!
I would have made him get his own drink then while he’s doing that, slip the bear trap under his seat cushion……. Let his fat ass heal from that…..
It’s those kinds of comments that make me glad most smaller shops make use of the whole “right to refuse service” thing. Yes, it’s a competition, and there’s always a bit of trash-talking/mind-game playing, but just being a douche because it’s the only way to even imagine being near lady-bits is beyond uncalled for.
However: he hasn’t rolled everything yet, and since it only “should” do enough damage, we could be looking at a series of rolls so poor bards will sing of them for generations. (I’m not counting on it, but it’s not impossible)
That’s what I’m hoping for. Roll of 1s. Followed by a beating the likes of which have never been seen.
Douche… I mean Dove, has only mentioned his averages so the dice have not been cast yet, Amy’s character might get a revenge shot in before becoming one with the gravel. And, of course, she may get a parting shot at Dove with some high velocity dice!
Brian, fantastic job in creating characters that give rise to emotions in your readers! I’m really looking forward to seeing how this plays out.
*CR 28 random encounter: Wandering Lich who found his keys but lost his tower… Have you seen it? I swear I left it around here somewhere…*
Gamer/DM part of me: “This guy gets kicked out.”
Salesman part of me: “He spends an ungoldy amount of cash in my store.”
d20Monkey fan part of me: “And then Larry shows up after Sam deals with every GM’s worse nightmare…..THAT GUY.”
Oh god… that’s it, isn’t it? Gramps was the warm up to make sure he wouldn’t murder him.
Why didn’t I think of this.
I’d get him another soda, definitely. Capsaicin-Cola, for when you’re just burning up with thirst!
you all forget she could just go get his soda and shake it up…a lot
Or spit in it, or “accidentally” spill it all over his character sheet, or (if she can find one) bring him a soda who’s expiration date was sometime during the Bush administration. (Either Bush, take your pick.)
Shake it up a lot and hope the soda destroys his character sheet. HUZZAH!
Dove better hope his cronies stuck around after they died, cause the girls can still kick his ass in real life.
or he’s cheating with his dice. dont get me wrong, ive gotten some spectacular rolls when im on my cyber-knight when playing rifts. but a lame ‘oh, thats totally expected…” to roll a natural 20. im calling dice that either weighted or filed just slightly so that he can ‘call’ his roll.
as for his damage, sure ive seen a lot of min-maxers who figure out how to maximize their damage, but that seems a little….overboard. and you can always call BS on a spreadsheet. like the joke says. “a spread sheet to cover his tracks”
no mr. dove, im calling you out. and like your self-hating relative Grey, you wil be exposed for the lying sack of crap you are!
I’m thinking that he will be rolling damage because he is the sort of a$$hole that would keep track of ALL of the damage he has ever dealt in his games as a player. Hence the need for a spreadsheet to keep track of averages and the like.
Also, tracking die results of individual dice to track over time if any of them are significantly off of average.
its also an accounting term for someone who’s embezzling, that’s why i say he’s ‘using a spread-sheet to cover his tracks’. and im sorry, but a nat 20 happens so infrequently (at least i never seem to roll them constantly) that last game when i had to get an 18+ for small, hard to hit target that was empowering our BBDGBM, (not to mention pulling off one of my classic Dodger wants to be luke skywalker moments) that getting the hit would be easy (+12 to strike, only a 1-4 would have made me miss automatically) but when that 20 rolled the entire table was jumping up and down, because my one shot, not only broke the target, but did more damage in one attack than the rest of the party did the entire night. (damn impervious to energy). one of my friends brother was even flabberghasted and said ‘i cant believe you pulled that off…’ this is what makes me think that dovely douchebag is cheating, that he’s so blase’ about getting a natural 20 on his shot, that it makes me think his dice are rigged.
and he should remember, that even if its unlikely, a free action/reaction ability from Amy can counter his nat 20 with a nat 20 of her own. and ive even seen a nat 20 parried by another nat 20 (again in Rifts)
When I DM they shakes them in the cup and toss them in the octagon.
No rolls off the palm.
Now, see, this kind of crap (the comments he’s making, not the action itself)? This is what takes me from a mostly benevolent GM who cares about the telling of the story and turns me into a vindictive overlord out for blood. Talk friendly smack all you like, but actually stomp on somebody’s feelings, self-esteem, or pride at my table and I will shit ALL over you and everything you stand for.
Thankfully (hopefully), Sam has more control over that impulse than I do, otherwise Philly there wins in the end.
While I would agree with that, I’d point out that we haven’t seen Amy’s reaction to him yet. Even odds she’s not so thin skinned to listen to a dick like him.
Ahem.. *looks around* Could… Could someone cue the rain? *rain starts to fall* Thank you. Dramatic music please? *plays* Thank you.
*looks up to the sky as she falls to her knees, fists up in the air* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! *the NOOOO echoes into the bleak, rainy scene*
Ok, now that that’s done… Man what a douchenozzle x Infinity he is! I could never stand for that if I DM’d, and i know my husband DEFINITELY would not (and mine has a temper when he’s angry).
I SERIOUSLY hope that Dove gets his in the end. Now, I know that this was PvP. I feel that in the end, there would have been more good-natured (“I’m sorry, the dice fell the way they did” or “That was fun, see you next week for _________?”) had it been the good five remaining. Dove DID use sneak attack to his advantage, but now he’s going to be like this if he ends up taking anyone else out and that’s going to get even MORE aggravating.
Fingers crossed that Dove gets his… very soon.
I hope this is the part where Sam gets the Narrative back and wrecks Dove in some sense slapping way for insulting him, his girlfriend, and roleplaying games as a whole.
While I’ve been a reader for a long while, this is actually the first time felt called upon to comment on a strip. There are a lot of events in this strip that I kinda felt the need to comment on.
The main cast shouldn’t really have been surprised that something like this happened. They’ve been talking about their plans to gang up on and remove Dove — at the table, while he’s about two feet away.
They’ve also lacked the request paranoia an event like the Dungeon Run requires. Always keep your back to a wall, folks. Check behind ya as often as you can. Tell the DM that you’re actively checking to make sure someone isn’t sneaking up on you/ready to ambush you.
If Dove really does want to test Sam’s ability to GM, taking out his girlfriend’s (pre-gen) character is the way to do it. There’s a reason that people go around thinking the DM’s girlfriend gets preferential treatment… If Sam lets the dice fall as they may, then he kinda shows the true character of the gamers and DMs at the shop. If he try to mitigate it? As much I hate ta say it, then Dove might have a point.
And lastly: Most events that can be be considered organized play – the Pathfinder Society, D&D Adventurers’ League, various Fantasy Flight Games day events – tend to have on one key rule. It boils down to ‘Treat all other participants with respect.’ Those who violate that rule usually get removed from the table/event. And the DM usually enforces it… I’d considered the Dungeon Run to be an organized play event (granted, by the store) and I’d expect them to have a similar rule. Next strip? I could totally see Sam ejecting Dove for breaching that rule.
I hope for, or agree to, everything said except for the part about back to the wall. Because, from the angle, Amy is either looking right at him (meaning that the rest of the group was in a better angle), or he fired his lava shot through the wall for a penalty, for being able to hear them, and got lucky.
Amy was standing at a corner, chatting to the group in front of her. Lord Douchenozzle Von Analbeads here came up behind her and shot her in the back from the other side of the corner. Sadly, he technically is allowed to act like this. At this point it is more than likely that Amy’s character is ded. He is allowed to ask her to fetch him a drink since she is both likely to be leaving the table for now, and not going to be making rolls at this very moment. His disgusting misogynistic behaviour is allowed because she is just as capable of using misandric comments against him, and as such is protected as trash talk. Shitlord McAsswipe could easily make the argument that if he is removed for this comment, then the rules were bent in Amy’s favor, since another player at the table was not removed for calling him a “Total Shit Turd”. No, I pray Sam let’s the dice fall, and does as a good GM should, and instead allows his players to rectify the douchebag at the table problem themselves. A good GM does not intercede against the prick, but instead gives the players the tools to rid themselves of him. Yes if he does go too far, it is right to ban him from the table, but players find it more satisfying to ride the jerkbag down the mountain as a sled, killing him in the process, instead of just having him magically go *POOF* and banning him from the table.
I always support my players creatively ridding themselves of unwanted nuisances in creative ways. Also, then you get to make the argument that you let the doce fall where they may, and didn’t intercede on his behalf anymore than you did so for any other player.
Um, excuse me?
His misogynistic comments are not protected under “Trash talk” just because she could make misandric comments towards him. He is not trash talking, he is outright being abusive and disrespectful and is effectively saying that she is not welcome at any table. “Total shit turd” is in no way as severe as what Dove just said.
That is grounds for ejection and banishment from further events.
And as Knightsword below me has said, this could have been in the form of notes that appear as in-game discussion. Dove may not actually be aware of the “Total shit turd” comment unless it was actually spoken aloud.
Eh. I’m used to playing with people with tougher skin. Racism, Misogyny, Misandry, etc. are commonly used for jokes and trashtalk at my table. We are a ripe bunch of bastards. I always make sure though that everyone is comfortable with that, and knows it is not meant personally, etc. We do have limits though and we know when enough is enough. Dove made a single comment, which whilst rude did not fall under abusive in my experience. It is not the type of comment that is at all uncommon on the internet, or in the workforce, or in the world, and it was not a direct insult on her personally so much as a blanket misogynistic statement. Whilst he was being a total douchenozzle, I do not personally feel he broke the line. Also, if he was within earshot of the opposing party, as is likely, then the DM would have to share the conversation notes in some way, as he would technically be able to make out their conversation. Sound travels exceptionally well in stone halls, and it would be safe to assume that he has some sort of listening skills to help prevent sneak attacks on him.
Each table is different, and I should’ve made that more clear, but there was no reason to get all up in a huff about it. Yes, some people will ban for small comments like that. Not me, and not a lot of guys I know. It is the DM’s job to determine whether any comment amongst players is over the line or not, not us outsiders to the table. Even spectators can not be sure where and when trash talk ends and abuse begins at a table all the time.
It is possible that they have been keeping it a secret from Dove, despite being at the same table. Brian stated early in the story line that the players are passing notes to each other or the dm, and that it would show up as in game discussions.
“Hate. Let me tell you how much I’ve come to hate Dove since I began to live. There are 387.44 million miles of printed circuits in wafer thin layers that fill my complex. If the word ‘hate’ was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for Dove at this micro-instant. For him. Hate. Hate.”
I’m pretty sure that this is how AM from ‘I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream’ would have reacted if he’d ever seen Dove. Screw humanity as a whole, Dove’s what he’d really have a problem with.
its socially acceptable to disembowel someone at the table with my D8 after this, right?
good, just checking…
I think as long you don’t make anyone step on a D4 you can plead self-defense. I recommend using metal dices, lots of them, and having the chainmail gaming dice bag. It’s cleaner than disemboweling. Even if you’re rightfully infuriated by THAT guy you don’t want to get blood and gore on your character sheet.
Man Dove is a rotten little prick! Glad to say in all my years gaming I’ve never encountered anyone remotely like him. I hate that people apparently have.
No joke. If the comic has a basis in reality, you’d think a rather large percentage of the asshole tabletop gamers of the world live in Nashville. 😉
Dove is Jason and this shit is Friday the 13th. It’s bad times.
Muahahahahahahahahaha!
In the second to last panel it should be “I will roll every damage die” or “I will roll all the damage dice”.
I want karma to have all his damage rolls come up 1 or 2
I’m thinking he may not retain use of his hands long enough to roll any dice.
Barring a ‘We won’t stand for that attitude at this table’ type scene that gets him out of the game, I hope he rolls significantly below average damage and Amy manages to survive despite the hover text.
correct me if i am wrong but from what we saw of karthun before, doesnt killing a mage free their trapped djinn?
This. I’m thinking that killing Amy’s character isn’t going to result in a free victory lap for Mr. Dove.
That’s what popped into my head this morning while walking my puppy (after posting my above comment earlier this morning). If Dove DOES roll enough damage to kill Amy’s character, it only kills the human/vessel.
As we have seen in the first Karthun arc, when the bad guy was killed, the fire djinn was freed and was about to rain havoc on the already weakened group.
I would have to say that, right now, Dove and Dallas are the least hurt character-wise. Jeanie and Trevor aren’t doing so hot, as they were willing to “let the dice fall”.
If he does kill the character, all of the players will be facing a now unbound earth elemental. If the other three are smart, they’ll scram, and let Dove deal with the elemental. Then, they’ll see if Carlos’s Rage has ended and work out a ninja-note plan to take Dove down.
We call these vermin ‘Roll Players’ instead of Role Players. They truly are the trolls of tabletop gaming.
I hate to say this, but even with some karmic series of 1s and 2s on his damage dice, Dove pretty much wins almost any scenario here. Even if Amy survives this blast, he can claim tactical superiority over her for hitting the sneak attack. If he gets any backlash for his comment from the players or DM, he gets to claim they’re jealous. There are now three people actively teaming up to try to take him down, so if they’re successful, he can say they needed three people to take him down. Lots of scenarios where Dove “wins” in the end, either in-game or out-of-game. I only see two possible come-uppances for him.
1. Amy has some kind of elemental resistance whereby she not only survives the sneak attack but is in relatively good shape still. Remember, the lava bursting through her is, as far as we can tell, Dove’s interpretation of events as they occur, not necessarily what is actually happening.
2. After killing Amy and while giving a typically “Dove” speech about his superiority (think of the BBEG giving a soliloquy before the big battle), Carlos the Bardbarian (misspelling intentional) comes in and blasts Dove with a sneak attack of his own, possibly even tossing him around like Hulk slamming Loki in Stark Tower.
Of course, I hope I’m wrong on all accounts and am pleasantly surprised by the results. That said, nobody ever guaranteed us a happy ending here.
If I was running this, I’d just tell him to leave. That kind of behavior is not tolerated in the least anywhere NEAR my table.
As a GM, I have no problem with letting dice fall as they may. It sucks to see friends go down, but that just opens up other opportunities in most games. (My son picked Wizard, found it boring and didn’t shed a tear that skeletons ripped him apart. Now he plays Barbarian and loves it.) But in a PvP arena, letting the dice fall is SO important. Any semblance of favoritism is grounds for ending the game then and there and never playing with that GM again.
Please let this guy get the sh*t beat out of him in real life. I agree with letting the dice land where they will, but by his attitude he needs to be injured in real life.
Uggh…DOVE! *barf* Someone needs a punch in his patriarchy bullsh*t.
Considering how meticulous Amy often is, I wouldn’t be surprised that what Dove just hit was some kind of rock golem decoy. If it is, ol’ Philly-boy is in for “one helluva disappointment.”
So, in addition to the usual concerns about Amy’s character and my seething hatred for Dove, I have two things to say.
Where did Dove first show up, and why does everyone hate him? I can’t remember.
And secondly, why is her tunic on backwards in the fourth panel?
1. He’s a dick.
2. I was tired drawing in the late hours. Will fix later.
See that would get him kicked out of any tournament my group was running.
Lots of mixed feelings here.
As much as I hate Dove for his misogyny and general douchiness, I sort of also love his killing-off-Amy and unnecessary use of spreadsheets.
i believe that Amy is dead however who says the round is over? Dove might have 3 very angry people that want him dead right after this.
Honestly, as much as it would be fantastic to see Sam go all out with the narrative, what I really want to see happen is that Sam breaks character with a simple, “No.” Then Kick Dallas out of the game for violating the rules by making sexist and discriminatory remarks. Every person there is a better role player and person as Dallas, and they don’t need to beat him to prove it, and their ranks are not bettered by his participation.
He should just remove him from the game and ban him from the store for life. He isn’t a role player, he’s ROLL player. All about the stats and dice, not the character or play.
Gah. I said Dallas, I meant Dove.
1. Freed Rock Elemental.
2. Everyone: “Shit, Dove won. I guess there’s nothing left to do but gather our significant others and go get laid. Enjoy your trophy, Phil.”
When I was a kid, and admittedly stupid. Pa told me to wash the dishes, after I had done most of the cooking. I told him, “washing dishes is woman’s work, make Ma do it.”.
The world froze for a moment. Pa calmly got up, took every dish, pot,plate, the cutlery, the silver, food processor, mandolin, everything food touches. Told me to wash them all. I refused. He piled them up on my bed. When I finally agreed to wash everything I had to carry it all back. Wash by hand and dry everything and up them away. When it was over Pa told me to smile, and thank him for the lesson. I refused, I was tire and grumpy. He took everything out again, and I had to wash everything all over.
He stayed up all night, watching me from the dining room. Drinking coffee, playing solitaire, smoking. Looking up every now and then. Telling me to rehash an item as I half assed it. When it was over it was almost morning, only a couple of hours until I was supposed to wake up.
This time I smiled, and thanked him for the lesson. He sent me to bed, in the morning with very little sleep, he sent me to school, and went to work himself. He was a contractor, and it was a hard day’s work for him.
Pa modified the old bury a smile punishment. Dig a hole, smile, and bury it.
I’ve never said “that’s woman’s work again.”…
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! NOW I understand the “after you came out as a lady” thing – sort of, I guess. First I though that she was transsexual or something – which made no sense with the character.
I’m still unsure about just how prejudiced this guy is. I mean, he’s a dick to everyone, all that really changes is the language. I have no doubt whatsoever that he would have been just as much of a smug jerk if Amy was a dude, just with different put-downs. The idea that he may possibly be an egalitarian bag of dicks is deeply confusing.
Also, rather than tearing him a new one, I think Sam should simply say that he’s not sending anyone anywhere, but Phil is welcome to ask himself if he likes. Amy’s a big girl, she should be able to handle a guy like Phil herself.