“Looks like there’s gonna be a brawl, Playing somethin’ good?”
“HELL YEAH. Rolling Stones Street Fightin’ Man! G 7!”
“You just hit G 8.”
♫If you like piña coladas…♫
Here’s the thing that Dove fails to realize: “Scrubs and casuals” are where game stores make money. There are many more people who play kitchen table Magic and beer and pretzels D&D and Warhammer than there are tournament “Spikes.” There is nothing wrong with holding tournaments and catering to competitive clientele for those tournaments, but the game store that looks down on the filthy casuals is a game store destined for failure, long term.
Doesn’t even need to be dark and mysterious. If you have enough money to handle the losses, you can grind opposition into the dirt. See also WalMart corporate strategy.
Having a sponsor with deep pockets who doesn’t care about losses would do it, I suppose. That’s pretty much the only path I could see to “victory,” though.
like I said earlier on guys, Dove made a store where their will be no customers. I actually had a store like that where I live. It lasted all of three months, and that’s because the owner was stubborn, not because he was making any money.
If Jeannie touches Dove, he’ll have the cops there in a jiffy, looking at the playback from the security cameras. Nothing but badness will come of that.
Man, all it would take is video of this on the internet and the vitriol would dissolve his store. Places with an attitude like that don’t last long in general, a lifespan vastly decreased with how quickly things travel in our community.
the internet is a thing, and “Owner is a sexist asshole pretending he’s an elitist rich fuck” tends to make your consumerbase evaporate along with your profit margins.
Honestly I know that guys like dove do exist in gaming, DnD and stuff is supposedly notorious for That Guy, but overall they are pretty rare and most people finding out about Dove and his attitude would steer well clear from his stupid hipster gaming store.
You forgot FUCK YOU DOVE WITH A RUSTY MACE. But yeah most gamers I know are chill and just want to have fun. Well there always the “According to the rules” guy, but splat his character against the wall and he usually shuts up.
Also. FUCK YOU DOVE WITH A RUSTY MACE.
True! But I also know that Brian is a great writer who loves to take so on the long tour, so I’m expecting a lot more pain before we get total satisfaction.
actually now that he’s running a store like this and he’s a sexist it just might end much more quickly. Being openly sexist in this day and age can lead you into legal issues, especially if your a business owner. All he has to do is refuse to higher women, or gays, or one of several other niche group, and within hours (if that) he’ll have a mob of picketers. nobody wants to cross a picket line, nobody uses his store, end game. Sometimes things like that are warranted, this would be one of those occasions.
join the crew my man, I’ve only read about one villain I hate more then Dove, and he made Dove actually look like a saint. That’s actually saying something because Dove is far from being a saint and as I’ve said before I hate Dove with a passion and I normally try not to hate people.
Dove’s store first review.
“I came on opening day, I’d barely crossed the thresold when I noticed traces of cheeto dust on the floor. I turned around and didn’t look back. I like cheetos as much as the next guy, and I know how hard the dust is to clean up, but for there to be this quantity on opening day the store must be run by total slobs!”
damn you, now I’m thinking about Cosmic Cow!!! I loved a show he was in called, Too Close for Comfort, the show ended because Ted Knight died. That’s what happens when a show is centered around only one character though.
Just so you know if you didn’t Ted Knight played a cartoonist in Too close for comfort. Hos popular creation was Cosmic Cow, which was a female version of superman for the most part, only a Cow, at least that’s how I saw the character because they never went into huge detail on the comic except once when Cosmic Cow was flying through space and got amnesia after colliding with an asteroid…. Yes, yes I am a nerd, how could you tell??
…Really? catering only to tourney folks and those who see games a competitions? first of all making tournaments weekly is an easy way to devalue all of them. Dove is using a model that works for conventions for a store… gods this place is gonna hemorrhage money. you know, if his personality doesn’t kill business first.
I can easily see a woman coming in for a tourney for (INSERT GAME HERE) and him asking “Alright what’s the name of your boyfriend so I can have my boy here write it down.”
Yep. He is as elitist as fuck, without knowing the real clientele. Gamers don’t want fancy coffee and food. They want Dew and Cheetos.
I am reminded of a ‘geek bar’ in Ohio a friend told me about. Let’s just say that they had interestingly​ expensive ideas regarding ‘pub grub’.
But it won’t matter. He can have his perfect elitist store full of shitlords just like him. He’ll lose money, but he’s being bankrolled, so he won’t go under.
I agree, but I hate to point it out, but the margins on game stores are quite thin. It’s possible that he might not be able to make a profit, but he IS able to attract enough customers away from Sam’s store- either by attracting them to his store, or by putting them off gaming completely- to drop Sam’s margins to the point he has to close the store. If THAT is his aim, then he has something of a chance, particularly since we don’t know Sam’s financial position.
Personally, I’d be going, “My, what’s this over here? Why, that’s so fascinating and distracting that someone could literally be murdered only a few feet away and I wouldn’t even notice!”
“Wait a second.. how do you beat someone to death with their own skull? That doesn’t seem physically possible.”
“That’s exactly what Jimmy kept screaming.”
—
“THIS DOESN’T SEEM PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE!!”
that involves smashing their skull into walls, head, cash registers, etc repeatedly until their totally beat up, meaning they take all the damage with their head or “Skull” you don’t actually remove it from the body, but you do use the body to increase the damage they take usually ending in whiplash. Among other things…..
Wow yeah people like Dove are what kills gaming for people like me. Why the fuck would I want to play with some asshole that scares all of the women off?
their is though a disturbing side to life, some women, and their very few thankfully, actually like that sort of treatment. They also saw that treatment being given to their own mothers and come to expect it to be given to them as well. They also don’t know how to respond to kindness and get bent out of shape when people are nice to them because they’ve been emotionally abused all their lives and know no other life or way to look at things. That being said I’d expect Dove might just have a mother who fits into this category. If he has this sort of attitude that’s where it would have come from, you learn this sort of thing by example. Which means his Father might even be a bigger douche bag then Dove is… Something to think about there Brian, that could make all sorts of interesting possibilities for future comics, if I recall Dove has a brother that’s been mentioned and might just be as big a douche as Dove is, if not maybe even a bigger one. Was their a mention in an earlier Comic that Dove had a brother, but it didn’t go anywhere from there? I’m thinking of going back and rereading to see myself, but if anyone recalls or can point to that tidbit of information it would save a lot of time. I’m pretty sure it was mentioned that he has a brother, but I’m not 100% on that. I do know they haven’t really shown said brother if their is one.
FOUND IT!!! Dungeon Run: Doot Doot That’s the episode, in which it starts out with Dove on a phone talking to his little brother. His gay bully cousin is in before that though and was pretend dating Mel.
So this story ark will involve one of the cast going to jail for murdering Dove because no way in hell anyone can keep taking #### for this long without ending up chocking on their own blood.
With a customer service skill set this low Dove doesn’t stand a chance at keeping this store open. You have to cater to the customer not the other way around.
This might be the Machiavellian in me talking but all she has to do is remove the protective gear and shake it off in his store to upset Dove. He seems the type to go nuclear over someone shaking off their coats indoors.
No one gets arrested that way and Dallas gets smug satisfaction she got under Dove’s skin.
I have a wonderful image of what’s about to happen: Things start looking like they’re about to get REALLY ugly, REALLY quickly…and then Sam just says “Wait, I got this.” And then verbally kills dove, brings him back from the dead, and then verbally kills him again. Dove is an elitist prick make no mistake, but Sam has slapped him around before…
Ok as a writer myself i just need to compliment you on Dove. I love your comic with all of my might but every time he shows up I can’t continue reading the comic until he is either no longer getting screen time or he has gotten his comeuppance. Rarely do characters in webcomics create such a sense of disgust in me. Sadly of course this means I won’t be returning to read this until i can binge read through it to see doves head shoved up his own ass. I look forward to that day brian… i look forward to it with great antici… wait for it…. pation.
Not quite… Dove has had his comeuppance before. But he is and shall remain Dove.
He is going to win.
Oh, the main cast will recover, but Dove? He will get out of this unchanged. Having learned nithing. Still a total shitmonger.
THAT is what makes him so hateworthy. The realism factor. In a comic with blatant supernatural stuff going on, a totally mundane, ordinary asshole that we might have dealt with in real life is the most hated being.
Fair? Since when does life care about fairness? Dove knows it isn’t fair, because he helped stack the deck.
except for one thing, and this one thing might actually be a killer ending for our Dove problems. If you guys recall something did kill the Easter Bunny a little while back. That of course was part of a bigger story which we never saw the tail end of. Which means its on going. Now we have Dove getting bankrolled by someone higher up on the food chain. Dove at the end of the day is a little fish whom thinks he’s a big fish. The people he is currently involved with could be behind the other incident, in which case when he fails they might just decide to clean up the mess left behind so their are no witnesses. That’s often the end of such massive turds as the one we have here called Dove. Unless of course he actually learns something important and switches sides before he becomes fish food himself.
Good to see Dove’s hopped onto THAT particular greasy, lonely bandwagon. Of course, Dove’s not stupid, there’s a good chance he’s just doing this to provoke a reaction that will reflect poorly on Sam’s store.
Nah, he’s been established as a complete shitmonger for a while now, especially towards women. This is his turf, his rules, he doesn’t have to conceal his misogyny.
I’m assuming sucking up to Dove doesn’t mean shoving previously mentioned shiny dice up his rectum till he tastes them correct? Because if that the case, I don’t think I could be ‘gaming elite’
Actually I’ve been considered gaming elite now and then, I however, am not even close. I’ve played with a few big names and could even name drop if I was that type of person but that’s just not what the game is about. A true gamer games for the fun, the companionship, and above all for the stories he can one day tell himself. Its not about being elite, its about making memories with friends and having a good time. Dove doesn’t really understand that because at the end of the day Dove really doesn’t have any friends at all. That’s what makes people like Dove such a sad thing, they’ve put themselves into a corner and everyone sees them for what they are.
Now come on, guys. I think you’re being a bit unfair with all this “murder” talk. Dove is just clearly unloved. What he really needs is obviously to hug it out.
… You know, going through the comments makes me kinda want this to go all Christmas Special. I can’t help but think that the greatest punishment for Dove is for his store to experience some degree of success… and for him to have to be surrounded by the kind of person that would attract day in and day out.
/>
HOVER-TEXT: “OMG Brian, so many talking heads in this strip. As a professional webcomic reviewer, I just have to say…”
Oooooooooh…
*cues the fight music*
*starts the FF7 Boss Battle Theme*
“Looks like there’s gonna be a brawl, Playing somethin’ good?”
“HELL YEAH. Rolling Stones Street Fightin’ Man! G 7!”
“You just hit G 8.”
♫If you like piña coladas…♫
I understood that reference
Round 1, FIGHT!
Hmmm clean organized store meet cheto dust storm attack mwahahahaha
It’s SUPER EFFECTIVE!
Please tell me that next week it turns out that Jeanie made Scrotageddonâ„¢ a reality over the time skip.
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn. I don’t know that I wouldn’t have already tried to kill him.
*Chanting* Kick his ass! Kick his ass!
Here’s the thing that Dove fails to realize: “Scrubs and casuals” are where game stores make money. There are many more people who play kitchen table Magic and beer and pretzels D&D and Warhammer than there are tournament “Spikes.” There is nothing wrong with holding tournaments and catering to competitive clientele for those tournaments, but the game store that looks down on the filthy casuals is a game store destined for failure, long term.
My guess, some form of magic is involved so that might not be an issue for them
Yeah, we’ve seen dark mysterious backers already. I expect this ties back into the Christmas storyline rather directly as well.
Doesn’t even need to be dark and mysterious. If you have enough money to handle the losses, you can grind opposition into the dirt. See also WalMart corporate strategy.
Having a sponsor with deep pockets who doesn’t care about losses would do it, I suppose. That’s pretty much the only path I could see to “victory,” though.
Honestly the offer of premium coffee products makes me think Game Haus would be MORE attractive to casual gamers, not less.
like I said earlier on guys, Dove made a store where their will be no customers. I actually had a store like that where I live. It lasted all of three months, and that’s because the owner was stubborn, not because he was making any money.
That last panel is screaming for an animated gif with an eye twitch.
[calimari] It’s a trap! [/calimari]
If Jeannie touches Dove, he’ll have the cops there in a jiffy, looking at the playback from the security cameras. Nothing but badness will come of that.
Man, all it would take is video of this on the internet and the vitriol would dissolve his store. Places with an attitude like that don’t last long in general, a lifespan vastly decreased with how quickly things travel in our community.
the internet is a thing, and “Owner is a sexist asshole pretending he’s an elitist rich fuck” tends to make your consumerbase evaporate along with your profit margins.
Doesn’t matter. He’s being bankrolled. He can offer his ‘elite gaming experience’ at a lower price than Sam.
Dun Dun DUNNNN
Someone’s about to go super sayian.
So then, you’re “just sayin’?”
FUCK YOU DOVE.
Honestly I know that guys like dove do exist in gaming, DnD and stuff is supposedly notorious for That Guy, but overall they are pretty rare and most people finding out about Dove and his attitude would steer well clear from his stupid hipster gaming store.
also. FUCK YOU DOVE.
You forgot FUCK YOU DOVE WITH A RUSTY MACE. But yeah most gamers I know are chill and just want to have fun. Well there always the “According to the rules” guy, but splat his character against the wall and he usually shuts up.
Also. FUCK YOU DOVE WITH A RUSTY MACE.
Nah, not a rusty mace. A rusty JACKHAMMER.
What about a jackhammer with a mace attachment?
Ahh… I was young and foolish once…
*ahem*
‘Ground glass and crazy glue enema’.
With just a SPRITZ of carbonated lemon juice.
last three in a row I’ve seen got their asses beat by more sensible people. two of them was done in by the owner of the store.
This story is so painfully realistic, it makes me angry at actual people I used to know. Man, I hope some real justice gets thrown down. Holy cow.
I know what you are trying to say but there is a guy literally calling mrs. Claus
True! But I also know that Brian is a great writer who loves to take so on the long tour, so I’m expecting a lot more pain before we get total satisfaction.
actually now that he’s running a store like this and he’s a sexist it just might end much more quickly. Being openly sexist in this day and age can lead you into legal issues, especially if your a business owner. All he has to do is refuse to higher women, or gays, or one of several other niche group, and within hours (if that) he’ll have a mob of picketers. nobody wants to cross a picket line, nobody uses his store, end game. Sometimes things like that are warranted, this would be one of those occasions.
I have never hated a villain as much as I hate Dove.
You’re welcome.
Yes. High praise indeed.
join the crew my man, I’ve only read about one villain I hate more then Dove, and he made Dove actually look like a saint. That’s actually saying something because Dove is far from being a saint and as I’ve said before I hate Dove with a passion and I normally try not to hate people.
Dove’s store first review.
“I came on opening day, I’d barely crossed the thresold when I noticed traces of cheeto dust on the floor. I turned around and didn’t look back. I like cheetos as much as the next guy, and I know how hard the dust is to clean up, but for there to be this quantity on opening day the store must be run by total slobs!”
I just want to say, I think Dallas’s hair is absolutely beautiful in these panels. Very well done.
Why did I read “Back at the Game Haus” in Ted Knight’s voice like he narrated in SuperFriends?
“Meanwhile, at the Hall of Justice…”
damn you, now I’m thinking about Cosmic Cow!!! I loved a show he was in called, Too Close for Comfort, the show ended because Ted Knight died. That’s what happens when a show is centered around only one character though.
Just so you know if you didn’t Ted Knight played a cartoonist in Too close for comfort. Hos popular creation was Cosmic Cow, which was a female version of superman for the most part, only a Cow, at least that’s how I saw the character because they never went into huge detail on the comic except once when Cosmic Cow was flying through space and got amnesia after colliding with an asteroid…. Yes, yes I am a nerd, how could you tell??
…Really? catering only to tourney folks and those who see games a competitions? first of all making tournaments weekly is an easy way to devalue all of them. Dove is using a model that works for conventions for a store… gods this place is gonna hemorrhage money. you know, if his personality doesn’t kill business first.
I can easily see a woman coming in for a tourney for (INSERT GAME HERE) and him asking “Alright what’s the name of your boyfriend so I can have my boy here write it down.”
Yep. He is as elitist as fuck, without knowing the real clientele. Gamers don’t want fancy coffee and food. They want Dew and Cheetos.
I am reminded of a ‘geek bar’ in Ohio a friend told me about. Let’s just say that they had interestingly​ expensive ideas regarding ‘pub grub’.
But it won’t matter. He can have his perfect elitist store full of shitlords just like him. He’ll lose money, but he’s being bankrolled, so he won’t go under.
I agree, but I hate to point it out, but the margins on game stores are quite thin. It’s possible that he might not be able to make a profit, but he IS able to attract enough customers away from Sam’s store- either by attracting them to his store, or by putting them off gaming completely- to drop Sam’s margins to the point he has to close the store. If THAT is his aim, then he has something of a chance, particularly since we don’t know Sam’s financial position.
I WILL HOLD HIM DOWN FOR YOU.
Personally, I’d be going, “My, what’s this over here? Why, that’s so fascinating and distracting that someone could literally be murdered only a few feet away and I wouldn’t even notice!”
Dice. SPARKLY dice.
… man, I’m always on the hunt for white pearlized dice. Can’t seem to find ’em ANYWHERE.
Yes! Yes! Murder the fat bastard! Rip out his skull and beat him to death with it!
“Wait a second.. how do you beat someone to death with their own skull? That doesn’t seem physically possible.”
“That’s exactly what Jimmy kept screaming.”
—
“THIS DOESN’T SEEM PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE!!”
that involves smashing their skull into walls, head, cash registers, etc repeatedly until their totally beat up, meaning they take all the damage with their head or “Skull” you don’t actually remove it from the body, but you do use the body to increase the damage they take usually ending in whiplash. Among other things…..
Give this guy a bottle of wine, I’m buying it.
Wow yeah people like Dove are what kills gaming for people like me. Why the fuck would I want to play with some asshole that scares all of the women off?
their is though a disturbing side to life, some women, and their very few thankfully, actually like that sort of treatment. They also saw that treatment being given to their own mothers and come to expect it to be given to them as well. They also don’t know how to respond to kindness and get bent out of shape when people are nice to them because they’ve been emotionally abused all their lives and know no other life or way to look at things. That being said I’d expect Dove might just have a mother who fits into this category. If he has this sort of attitude that’s where it would have come from, you learn this sort of thing by example. Which means his Father might even be a bigger douche bag then Dove is… Something to think about there Brian, that could make all sorts of interesting possibilities for future comics, if I recall Dove has a brother that’s been mentioned and might just be as big a douche as Dove is, if not maybe even a bigger one. Was their a mention in an earlier Comic that Dove had a brother, but it didn’t go anywhere from there? I’m thinking of going back and rereading to see myself, but if anyone recalls or can point to that tidbit of information it would save a lot of time. I’m pretty sure it was mentioned that he has a brother, but I’m not 100% on that. I do know they haven’t really shown said brother if their is one.
FOUND IT!!! Dungeon Run: Doot Doot That’s the episode, in which it starts out with Dove on a phone talking to his little brother. His gay bully cousin is in before that though and was pretend dating Mel.
So this story ark will involve one of the cast going to jail for murdering Dove because no way in hell anyone can keep taking #### for this long without ending up chocking on their own blood.
With a customer service skill set this low Dove doesn’t stand a chance at keeping this store open. You have to cater to the customer not the other way around.
You are assuming a normal business model. Dove is being bankrolled, he can lose money.
I think somewhere on Dallas’ Christmas wish list is an orbital bombardment platform aimed directly at Dove…
This might be the Machiavellian in me talking but all she has to do is remove the protective gear and shake it off in his store to upset Dove. He seems the type to go nuclear over someone shaking off their coats indoors.
No one gets arrested that way and Dallas gets smug satisfaction she got under Dove’s skin.
With all that Cheetos dust?
Actually, that is suitably evil. I like it 🙂
I have a wonderful image of what’s about to happen: Things start looking like they’re about to get REALLY ugly, REALLY quickly…and then Sam just says “Wait, I got this.” And then verbally kills dove, brings him back from the dead, and then verbally kills him again. Dove is an elitist prick make no mistake, but Sam has slapped him around before…
Ok as a writer myself i just need to compliment you on Dove. I love your comic with all of my might but every time he shows up I can’t continue reading the comic until he is either no longer getting screen time or he has gotten his comeuppance. Rarely do characters in webcomics create such a sense of disgust in me. Sadly of course this means I won’t be returning to read this until i can binge read through it to see doves head shoved up his own ass. I look forward to that day brian… i look forward to it with great antici… wait for it…. pation.
Not quite… Dove has had his comeuppance before. But he is and shall remain Dove.
He is going to win.
Oh, the main cast will recover, but Dove? He will get out of this unchanged. Having learned nithing. Still a total shitmonger.
THAT is what makes him so hateworthy. The realism factor. In a comic with blatant supernatural stuff going on, a totally mundane, ordinary asshole that we might have dealt with in real life is the most hated being.
Fair? Since when does life care about fairness? Dove knows it isn’t fair, because he helped stack the deck.
AKA The Umbridge Effect
except for one thing, and this one thing might actually be a killer ending for our Dove problems. If you guys recall something did kill the Easter Bunny a little while back. That of course was part of a bigger story which we never saw the tail end of. Which means its on going. Now we have Dove getting bankrolled by someone higher up on the food chain. Dove at the end of the day is a little fish whom thinks he’s a big fish. The people he is currently involved with could be behind the other incident, in which case when he fails they might just decide to clean up the mess left behind so their are no witnesses. That’s often the end of such massive turds as the one we have here called Dove. Unless of course he actually learns something important and switches sides before he becomes fish food himself.
Good to see Dove’s hopped onto THAT particular greasy, lonely bandwagon. Of course, Dove’s not stupid, there’s a good chance he’s just doing this to provoke a reaction that will reflect poorly on Sam’s store.
Nah, he’s been established as a complete shitmonger for a while now, especially towards women. This is his turf, his rules, he doesn’t have to conceal his misogyny.
As much as I despise Dove;his store sounds awesome though.
It won’t be. Sure, shiny and fancy and stuff… But unless you are ‘gaming elite’, you are not welcome.
And by that I mean willing to suck up to Dove.
I’m assuming sucking up to Dove doesn’t mean shoving previously mentioned shiny dice up his rectum till he tastes them correct? Because if that the case, I don’t think I could be ‘gaming elite’
Actually I’ve been considered gaming elite now and then, I however, am not even close. I’ve played with a few big names and could even name drop if I was that type of person but that’s just not what the game is about. A true gamer games for the fun, the companionship, and above all for the stories he can one day tell himself. Its not about being elite, its about making memories with friends and having a good time. Dove doesn’t really understand that because at the end of the day Dove really doesn’t have any friends at all. That’s what makes people like Dove such a sad thing, they’ve put themselves into a corner and everyone sees them for what they are.
Now come on, guys. I think you’re being a bit unfair with all this “murder” talk. Dove is just clearly unloved. What he really needs is obviously to hug it out.
Go on Dallas, give him a big, full body hug.
obviously Lugh your trying to get Dove killed, I commend you on that.
… You know, going through the comments makes me kinda want this to go all Christmas Special. I can’t help but think that the greatest punishment for Dove is for his store to experience some degree of success… and for him to have to be surrounded by the kind of person that would attract day in and day out.